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I am lost in details - that damn header color. Green looks good, but which one?
I couldn't make my new resume simple. I had to trick my ADHD brain with unnecessary, yet very creative tasks in order to get my butt sitting at the desk.
It's 1 AM and I am exhausted. I've been awake since 4 AM to catch a train to the main city this morning. My meeting was with the head of a musical production. I don't know how to sing or dance, but it seems they don't really care; they are super excited to have me and want me on a three-year exclusivity contract.
Three years as the lead of one of the biggest musical productions! Touring all over the country! A dream comes true.
Another fucked up day.
I am super thrilled. It's a straight offer, no audition.
All that time spent nesting in that artistic, austere cocoon fed on uncertainty and stress. I am now ready to fly out, ready to grab every single opportunity my wings will touch.
Little did I know.
Earlier in the Day
Sitting on a random chair, showered by a terrible unfavorable light, can't think about anything else at this point, damn it ADHD.
Facing Stephen, the skinny tall guy, the boss and main creative, as well as his creative team at his headquarters. One of my last meetings before signing the contracts...
Quick review:
- Lead of a Musical
- Biggest media production, biggest production
- Owners of all the major news outlets
- Shareholders of the main TV network and many other Press and Magazines
- My face and name gaining great exposure for future endeavors
In short, The. Big. Deal. for me!
Eager Stephen: "So. Are you all in with us?" (he is super proud of his finding; "me.")
Negotiating me: "I like the idea... but three years... it's kind of long, Marco.
Silence...
Oops, I did it again.
His name is Stephen... Always has been. I pretend nothing happened. I did screw this up though. But I still act like I am the coolest guy in the room.
They are stunned both by this out-of-this-world name mistake and the incredible lack of excitement.
And yet I am truly excited... I guess.
BUT I need a way out. I need to hear it.
Nothing. I heard nothing today. It is not going to happen.
“The chrysalis offers comfort - a safe space of known limitations. But comfort is deceptive when it keeps you from spreading your wings.” DoNotBlowUp.com
A Career Carrier of "No".
Many opportunities thrown to the drain as I matured as an artist. I turned months, years of artistic jobs down - writing, producing, acting. Sealed my own Chrysalis with an infinite thread of "No". This cocoon I have built, this temporary incubator was not meant to be permanent, and yet I can't get out of it. Suffocating.
Greener Does Look Better.
I snap out of my head, from this endless loop of thoughts.
Another promise made to my life just got broken. I keep stepping onto my dreams.
Still at my desk and it's already 2:15 AM. I have not finished the résumé. I got caught wanting a green greener for the header.
Every time I look outside at my smiley neighbor living what seems like a peaceful family life, I notice the vivid color of his yard.
When looking at mine under my ADHD spotlight, there is no grass, just dust revealing a morbid graveyard of sealed cocoons, opportunities born dead.
What I seek is not in that header color.
What I resist is not the three-year contract.
It's the becoming.The Reasonable Optimistic Student.
Learning from your own experiences is extremely painful. The pain of discovery is costly, in most cases a sure shot to your own misery. But if they have to be yours, don't waste them.
Not a lot of us have this opportunity - a truly great gift to start over. I'm a grown-ass adult sitting in a pupil’s chair, humbled.
And yet, a master of untaken paths.
The pain endured is now knowledge. Knowledge makes you smarter; you can reasonably point out trails you need to take leading you to the road you need to be on -- riding a new life full of "yes."
"Knowledge is power and power needs no fear lies" - Larry Levingston.
Every 'no' is a door closed. But every 'yes' - even a terrifying one - creates multiple new doors. The math of opportunity favors those who dare to open them.
The wings of YES
Today's easy escape is tomorrow's regret
⚜️You can decide now the next action you take to create the first stepping stone that gets you closer to your next project - closer to your creative hustle, looking for a new job, starting a newsletter, writing a book. It's all up to you. Whatever excites you. Whatever is in your mind. Whatever brings you joy is meaningful.
👁️When split between options, look back at every quick "no" that bought you comfort but robbed you of growth. Your future self stands in the shadows of your convenient choices, watching you in despair. Stop looking at the present struggle.
Map your path three months, six months, three years ahead - then work backward to the very first uncomfortable YES you need to take today.💥Each YES creates chaos in your future; an unpredictable version of yourself emerges. But the more of YES you embrace, the further away you'll fly from today’s paralysis. The power of compounding opportunities will shatter that paralyzing silken barrier of "no."
Take the pain now. Grab the yes.
📩Send that email.
☎️Give that dreaded phone call.
✍️Start journaling and discover who you truly are.
✅ You don't need a greener garden when you're high, flying to your becoming.
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💭 Are You Stepping Over Your Dreams?
🔹 When was the last time you said "no" out of fear rather than logic?
🔹 Do you feel trapped in your comfort zone longing for a change?
🔹 How many "yeses" would it take to break free of your chrysalis?
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Such a well written article! Thanks so much.
A brilliant reminder, to not let fear and procrastination 😨⏳, get in the way of your dreams ✨.
What's in your head is more fearful than reality is 💭.
Take it with a grain of salt 🧂!
Resilience 💪 is one of your strengths, so it's ok to fail and start over 🔄.
If you have ADHD, you know what this means and you've done it before 🔁.
Focus on the journey 🛤️ not the result 🏁!
If you have ADHD, you are creative enough 🎨, more than the average person, so you'll always find a way 🔑... Let that be your force to get yourself out there!
So just push through 💥 and open that door of opportunities 🚪!
And you'll be fine 😊!