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Witness to Life.
During a hot summer in Sicily, I find myself sharing a fantastic dinner in this opulent setting alongside some newly met acquaintances. My friend has kindly organized a networking event in his newly rejuvenated Palais. You read this in magazines:
!Breaking News!
💥 GLOBAL LEADERS GATHER IN SECRET BEHIND PALAIS WALLS PLOTTING MANKIND'S POPULATION DESTINY.Well, it is nothing close to that. But, I am sitting and breaking bread with a former prime minister who is rambling about how his party should fight the government and save us from doomsday. I nod quietly, if the changing world order is inevitable, let ‘s enjoy the warm night and another round of Gelato before shits go down.
During the following morning, while I’m enjoying the view of the pool under the shade of olive trees in one of those "private gardens," while the lovely summer staff pours a delicious, freshly made Sicilian coffee into my 17th/18th-century tiny coffee mug. Please don't judge me, but I have to refill it at least seven times to get my caffeine fix right.
It does not go unnoticed by my neighbor, a sweet and funny woman who could have been your next favorite grandma. She can't help but ironically compare the size of my cup with the size of... her shower.
It seems like her guest suite isn't convenient for her to wash. In her defense, and in all honesty, this dispirited lady is probably out of her element. Being the matriarchal member of the richest family in the world is not easy every day, and I would have felt for her if only I hadn't been distracted hunting down the waiter for my next dopamine bean-brewed elixir.
I am back in my room. I have a small room with access to the roof—simple, matching my social status—enjoying the high view of this atypical Sicilian city and the history behind it. I am graciously invited to be part of this weekend retreat to enjoy the days and meals, chatting around with successful like-minded (you wish) humans. Smoothly and surely climbing the social ladder. They come knocking at my door, asking if I want to go on a boat trip to visit a nearby island and be back at the palais later that afternoon. I do appreciate the attention; it all sounds fantastic.
But I decide to stay in my room for the afternoon. Alone. I need the time to recharge my batteries until the next "gathering" tonight at dinner. Before my late ADHD diagnosis, I did not understand why I was avoiding long exposure to humans, now I know.
I can't feel anything more than the desire to go home—a place where I could be me and recover from these extensive and long interactions.
The Art of Retreat.
The setting is "bananas." The networking opportunities are probably some of the best you could get, let's say, for someone like me—fitting the story of being a self-made person from a tiny agricultural city to a big capital, pushing my way into some of the most exclusive places thanks to my work.
Being an artist can suck greatly, and if you do it for the money, it is not worth it. But it can have amazing perks like these. And yet, I can't feel anything more than the desire to go home—a place where I could be me and recover from these extensive and long interactions.
I have been contemplating this palais, wandering through all the empty and infinite "alleys." The paintings on the walls are absolutely gorgeous; I wish I was the painter. Being a painter seems so much more interesting than being me - here you go, I’m disregarding my skills and expertise even more while drifting around aimlessly.
What am I doing with my life here in Sicily? I'm on the wrong path.
The Aimless Drift.
What am I doing with my life here in Sicily? I'm on the wrong path. While drifting around aimlessly, I hear laughter coming through the main gates of this palais. My "comrades" for the weekend are coming back from what seems to have been an idyllic day. The silence cracks under their loud laughs, which fissure my soul or heart—I can't tell.
But what I can tell is: "Why can't I just enjoy this time with them? Why can't I just profit from such a career boost like that?"
In short: "What is wrong with me?"
The downward spiral of a fucked-up mind is now activated.
The awareness of self-sabotage
…and the inability to avoid it, is destructive.
It doesn't matter where I am; it doesn't matter how much I want it. None of this gives me any incentive to go for it. All that money, the vastness of those rooms, the infinite elevation of the ceilings, the limitless possibilities available to me—none of it is enough. I'm not enough to make it work.
To all the self-help gurus out there religiously screaming: "BE HUNGRY!" Spoiler alert: That doesn't do it.
"The limitless possibilities available to me. None of it is enough."
I am getting tired. It is pointless to me because I know I'm not taking advantage of any of it. I feel as empty as those rooms with their expensive pieces of art and furniture that have crossed the centuries, seen more than we ever will. They experience it through their exclusive hosts, their richest guests—the love, the hate, the most private parties. But there they stand, still. Incapable of moving. None of it belongs to them; they are just witnesses to human life, but not part of it.
In this moment of clarity, I realize: Tangible wealth will not make you Happier.
In this moment of clarity, I realize: Tangible wealth will not make you Happier.
Purpose.
💥Purpose is your strongest currency. Purpose will give you the drive to move forward daily, and through that lens, you'll see the world differently. You'll create excitement to go through your day, which will generate more interactions, and it will seem effortless.
♻️You'll have this positive feedback that will encourage you to stay on that path. It will now initiate this drive within you that helps you get through the bad days, knowing tomorrow will be another opportunity to make it better—improving your relationships, tackling that side hustle you disregarded years ago.
⏳Stop chasing the illusion that the more you have, the more fulfilled you'll be. The more you chase, the more disconnected you become from yourself.
✍️Slow down. Be where you are, and don't be afraid to hang out with yourself for a bit. You have probably changed over the course of these years, and you might not have even realized it. Be brave enough to Take a few moments to reflect through journaling – Having a conversation with yourself - can help illuminate these subtle transformations and guide your path forward.
"Be where you are."
For those that are truly in need, stopping the chatter, the constant voices storming in your head, and finally being at peace with yourself—that is worth all the money in the world.
That is your true wealth.
💚It is time to know who you truly are.💚
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💭 What Does Wealth Really Mean?
🔹 Does money truly make you happier, or is it just an illusion?
🔹 How much more time ⨉ money would it take for you to feel complete?
🔹 Has chasing money ever left you feeling lost or empty?
👇 Drop your thoughts below—I read and reply to every single one!
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