It's an open hand to anyone who feels the need to grab it - An out-of-the-box Coaching. More from DNBU: ShopDNBU, Let’s Get a Coffee. Why Should I Subscribe FREE.

I am lost in details - that damn header color. Green looks good, but which one?

I couldn't make my new resume simple. I had to trick my ADHD brain with unnecessary, yet very creative tasks in order to get my butt sitting at the desk.

It's 1 AM and I am exhausted. I've been awake since 4 AM to catch a train to the main city this morning. My meeting was with the head of a musical production. I don't know how to sing or dance, but it seems they don't really care; they are super excited to have me and want me on a three-year exclusivity contract.

Three years as the lead of one of the biggest musical productions! Touring all over the country! A dream comes true.

Another fucked up day.

I am super thrilled. It's a straight offer, no audition.

All that time spent nesting in that artistic, austere cocoon fed on uncertainty and stress. I am now ready to fly out, ready to grab every single opportunity my wings will touch.

Little did I know.

Earlier in the Day

Sitting on a random chair, showered by a terrible unfavorable light, can't think about anything else at this point, damn it ADHD.

Facing Stephen, the skinny tall guy, the boss and main creative, as well as his creative team at his headquarters. One of my last meetings before signing the contracts...

Quick review:

- Lead of a Musical

- Biggest media production, biggest production

- Owners of all the major news outlets

- Shareholders of the main TV network and many other Press and Magazines

- My face and name gaining great exposure for future endeavors

In short, The. Big. Deal. for me!

Eager Stephen: "So. Are you all in with us?" (he is super proud of his finding; "me.")

Negotiating me: "I like the idea... but three years... it's kind of long, Marco.

Silence...

Oops, I did it again.

His name is Stephen... Always has been. I pretend nothing happened. I did screw this up though. But I still act like I am the coolest guy in the room.

They are stunned both by this out-of-this-world name mistake and the incredible lack of excitement.

And yet I am truly excited... I guess.

BUT I need a way out. I need to hear it.

Nothing. I heard nothing today. It is not going to happen.

A Career Carrier of "No".

Many opportunities thrown to the drain as I matured as an artist. I turned months, years of artistic jobs down - writing, producing, acting. Sealed my own Chrysalis with an infinite thread of "No". This cocoon I have built, this temporary incubator was not meant to be permanent, and yet I can't get out of it. Suffocating.

Greener Does Look Better.

I snap out of my head, from this endless loop of thoughts.

Another promise made to my life just got broken. I keep stepping onto my dreams.

Still at my desk and it's already 2:15 AM. I have not finished the résumé. I got caught wanting a green greener for the header.

Every time I look outside at my smiley neighbor living what seems like a peaceful family life, I notice the vivid color of his yard.

When looking at mine under my ADHD spotlight, there is no grass, just dust revealing a morbid graveyard of sealed cocoons, opportunities born dead.

What I seek is not in that header color.
What I resist is not the three-year contract.
It's the becoming.

Subscribe now

The Reasonable Optimistic Student.

Learning from your own experiences is extremely painful. The pain of discovery is costly, in most cases a sure shot to your own misery. But if they have to be yours, don't waste them.

Not a lot of us have this opportunity - a truly great gift to start over. I'm a grown-ass adult sitting in a pupil’s chair, humbled.

And yet, a master of untaken paths.

The pain endured is now knowledge. Knowledge makes you smarter; you can reasonably point out trails you need to take leading you to the road you need to be on -- riding a new life full of "yes."

Every 'no' is a door closed. But every 'yes' - even a terrifying one - creates multiple new doors. The math of opportunity favors those who dare to open them.

The wings of YES

Today's easy escape is tomorrow's regret

⚜️You can decide now the next action you take to create the first stepping stone that gets you closer to your next project - closer to your creative hustle, looking for a new job, starting a newsletter, writing a book. It's all up to you. Whatever excites you. Whatever is in your mind. Whatever brings you joy is meaningful.

👁️When split between options, look back at every quick "no" that bought you comfort but robbed you of growth. Your future self stands in the shadows of your convenient choices, watching you in despair. Stop looking at the present struggle.

Map your path three months, six months, three years ahead - then work backward to the very first uncomfortable YES you need to take today.

💥Each YES creates chaos in your future; an unpredictable version of yourself emerges. But the more of YES you embrace, the further away you'll fly from today’s paralysis. The power of compounding opportunities will shatter that paralyzing silken barrier of "no."

Take the pain now. Grab the yes.

📩Send that email.

☎️Give that dreaded phone call.

✍️Start journaling and discover who you truly are.

✅ You don't need a greener garden when you're high, flying to your becoming.

If anyone needs to “Read it”. Please consider Sharing this Post.

Share

If it Resonates with You. Please consider Subscribing or Become an Early Bird and receive free digital perks.

Subscribe now

💭 Are You Stepping Over Your Dreams?

🔹 When was the last time you said "no" out of fear rather than logic?
🔹 Do you feel trapped in your comfort zone longing for a change?
🔹 How many "yeses" would it take to break free of your chrysalis?

👇 Drop your thoughts below—I read and reply to every single one!

If you enjoyed this read and want to support my work just this once, feel free to Buy me a cup of coffee. ☕️ I do love coffee 🙈. Caffeinated Gratitude for reading.

If you found this post valuable, you might also appreciate:

• ADHD diagnosed 💔 : A Glance at a (LOST) Professional LiFe.

• ADHD & ✍️The power of Journaling. 😈The Truth About You.

• ADHD and The Time Warp. ⏳Where the Heck did it Go?

🎊Did you know you can shop your Fav’ Handcrafted Thumbnail and more? Personally, I take the Stainless Bottle on hikes or workouts, or I’ll enjoy a warm coffee in the DNBU Green Mug while writing Hard Life lessons in The Flexy-Notebook to share with you.
💥Go grab yours now! (click here).

It's an open hand to anyone who feels the need to grab it - An out-of-the-box Coaching. More from DNBU: ShopDNBU, Let’s Get a Coffee. Why Should I Subscribe FREE.

Witness to Life.

During a hot summer in Sicily, I find myself sharing a fantastic dinner in this opulent setting alongside some newly met acquaintances. My friend has kindly organized a networking event in his newly rejuvenated Palais. You read this in magazines:

                              !Breaking News!

💥 GLOBAL LEADERS GATHER IN SECRET BEHIND PALAIS WALLS PLOTTING MANKIND'S POPULATION DESTINY.

Well, it is nothing close to that. But, I am sitting and breaking bread with a former prime minister who is rambling about how his party should fight the government and save us from doomsday. I nod quietly, if the changing world order is inevitable, let ‘s enjoy the warm night and another round of Gelato before shits go down.

During the following morning, while I’m enjoying the view of the pool under the shade of olive trees in one of those "private gardens," while the lovely summer staff pours a delicious, freshly made Sicilian coffee into my 17th/18th-century tiny coffee mug. Please don't judge me, but I have to refill it at least seven times to get my caffeine fix right.

It does not go unnoticed by my neighbor, a sweet and funny woman who could have been your next favorite grandma. She can't help but ironically compare the size of my cup with the size of... her shower.

It seems like her guest suite isn't convenient for her to wash. In her defense, and in all honesty, this dispirited lady is probably out of her element. Being the matriarchal member of the richest family in the world is not easy every day, and I would have felt for her if only I hadn't been distracted hunting down the waiter for my next dopamine bean-brewed elixir.

I am back in my room. I have a small room with access to the roof—simple, matching my social status—enjoying the high view of this atypical Sicilian city and the history behind it. I am graciously invited to be part of this weekend retreat to enjoy the days and meals, chatting around with successful like-minded (you wish) humans. Smoothly and surely climbing the social ladder. They come knocking at my door, asking if I want to go on a boat trip to visit a nearby island and be back at the palais later that afternoon. I do appreciate the attention; it all sounds fantastic.

But I decide to stay in my room for the afternoon. Alone. I need the time to recharge my batteries until the next "gathering" tonight at dinner. Before my late ADHD diagnosis, I did not understand why I was avoiding long exposure to humans, now I know.

The Art of Retreat.

The setting is "bananas." The networking opportunities are probably some of the best you could get, let's say, for someone like me—fitting the story of being a self-made person from a tiny agricultural city to a big capital, pushing my way into some of the most exclusive places thanks to my work.

Being an artist can suck greatly, and if you do it for the money, it is not worth it. But it can have amazing perks like these. And yet, I can't feel anything more than the desire to go home—a place where I could be me and recover from these extensive and long interactions.

I have been contemplating this palais, wandering through all the empty and infinite "alleys." The paintings on the walls are absolutely gorgeous; I wish I was the painter. Being a painter seems so much more interesting than being me - here you go, I’m disregarding my skills and expertise even more while drifting around aimlessly.

What am I doing with my life here in Sicily? I'm on the wrong path.

The Aimless Drift.

What am I doing with my life here in Sicily? I'm on the wrong path. While drifting around aimlessly, I hear laughter coming through the main gates of this palais. My "comrades" for the weekend are coming back from what seems to have been an idyllic day. The silence cracks under their loud laughs, which fissure my soul or heart—I can't tell.

But what I can tell is: "Why can't I just enjoy this time with them? Why can't I just profit from such a career boost like that?"

In short: "What is wrong with me?"

The downward spiral of a fucked-up mind is now activated.

Subscribe now

The awareness of self-sabotage

…and the inability to avoid it, is destructive.

It doesn't matter where I am; it doesn't matter how much I want it. None of this gives me any incentive to go for it. All that money, the vastness of those rooms, the infinite elevation of the ceilings, the limitless possibilities available to me—none of it is enough. I'm not enough to make it work.

To all the self-help gurus out there religiously screaming: "BE HUNGRY!" Spoiler alert: That doesn't do it.

"The limitless possibilities available to me. None of it is enough."

I am getting tired. It is pointless to me because I know I'm not taking advantage of any of it. I feel as empty as those rooms with their expensive pieces of art and furniture that have crossed the centuries, seen more than we ever will. They experience it through their exclusive hosts, their richest guests—the love, the hate, the most private parties. But there they stand, still. Incapable of moving. None of it belongs to them; they are just witnesses to human life, but not part of it.

In this moment of clarity, I realize: Tangible wealth will not make you Happier.
In this moment of clarity, I realize: Tangible wealth will not make you Happier.

Purpose.

💥Purpose is your strongest currency. Purpose will give you the drive to move forward daily, and through that lens, you'll see the world differently. You'll create excitement to go through your day, which will generate more interactions, and it will seem effortless.

♻️You'll have this positive feedback that will encourage you to stay on that path. It will now initiate this drive within you that helps you get through the bad days, knowing tomorrow will be another opportunity to make it better—improving your relationships, tackling that side hustle you disregarded years ago.

⏳Stop chasing the illusion that the more you have, the more fulfilled you'll be. The more you chase, the more disconnected you become from yourself.

✍️Slow down. Be where you are, and don't be afraid to hang out with yourself for a bit. You have probably changed over the course of these years, and you might not have even realized it. Be brave enough to Take a few moments to reflect through journaling – Having a conversation with yourself - can help illuminate these subtle transformations and guide your path forward.

For those that are truly in need, stopping the chatter, the constant voices storming in your head, and finally being at peace with yourself—that is worth all the money in the world.

That is your true wealth.

💚It is time to know who you truly are.💚

If anyone needs to “Read it”. Please consider Sharing this Post.

Share

If it Resonates with You. Please consider Subscribing or Become an Early Bird and receive free digital perks.

Subscribe now

💭 What Does Wealth Really Mean?

🔹 Does money truly make you happier, or is it just an illusion?
🔹 How much more time ⨉ money would it take for you to feel complete?
🔹 Has chasing money ever left you feeling lost or empty?

👇 Drop your thoughts below—I read and reply to every single one!

If you enjoyed this read and want to support my work just this once, feel free to Buy me a cup of coffee. ☕️ I do love coffee 🙈. Caffeinated Gratitude for reading.

If you found this post valuable, you might also appreciate:

• ADHD diagnosed 💔 : A Glance at a (LOST) Professional LiFe.

• ADHD & ✍️The power of Journaling. 😈The Truth About You.

• ADHD and The Time Warp. ⏳Where the Heck did it Go?

🎊Did you know you can shop your Fav’ Handcrafted Thumbnail and more? Personally, I take the Stainless Bottle on hikes or workouts, or I’ll enjoy a warm coffee in the DNBU Green Mug while writing Hard-Life-lessons in The Flexy-Notebook to share with you.
💥Go grab yours now! (click here).

It's an open hand to anyone who feels the need to grab it - An out-of-the-box Coaching. More from DNBU: ShopDNBU, Let’s Get a Coffee. Why Should I Subscribe FREE.

I am 12, it's after school and it is cold outside. I am happy to come home. I grab the handle of the door.

“Why is it open?! I locked it, my mom is still at work, it should be locked. Or did I forget about it... again. It doesn’t really matter, no one breaks in, in this village.

"Surprise!!"

Damn!! The rush, the unexpected, the adrenaline kick. It's my freaking birthday. That too, I forgot about. All this attention for me. I could not be more thrilled it's going to be a great party.

Yet, I can’t take that step inside. I close the door- they are locked in and I am locked out. I want to run and hide... Hide and cry. My body is in shock. Spasms only, the nervous system just tilted. It takes me a minute, then I look at that door and think about all the blurry faces behind it I did not have the time to recognize.

Time to open it, smile and meet my friends.

Still standing in front of this door, outside in the dark. It's really cold now. I am ashamed, I just cried on my birthday, I am not ready to socialize. My mum could have told me... but... it was a surprise, but... I just can't get my head around it. I walk away. I'll be back when everyone has left.

I never celebrated my birthday after that. Not like that. I thought I liked surprises. But I did not. I like to know who is behind the door.

The Stranger behind the Door.

It's like flying off the rail in full speed while on an emotional roller coaster.

ALERT: YOUR HEART JUST GOT HAMMERED, TORN, SMASHED TO OBLIVION.

It is ruthless, no mercy. I wish I could forget but I am still floating, in this newly created vacuum in my soul. What is there to forget anyway? My late ADHD diagnosis? Too late buddy, it is now part of the past. It's knowledge brutally acquired. It hurts and it will hurt even more when it lands. Give it some time.

But I am running out of time. I cut myself out of this social world, I had no contact with other humans. I feel completely disconnected from them. I cannot bear my own company either and would give everything to be able to NOT be me. I can't get out of me. I want to keep flying, get off this world, discover the wonders of this universe. There has to be more to all of this; this cannot be it. But not today. Today is the crash day.

Note to Myself;

A life already on its way out.

No better time.

No Better time to break my heart open.

No better Time to glance at a life of lost opportunities.

The implosion that followed my late ADHD diagnosis shattered years of frozen immobility. I am not the protagonist I thought I was. The structure I built my life on just collapsed, creating a vacuum, an empty space in need of meaning. A vacuum is not a great opportunity to start anything but it gifts me with the possibility of undertaking a daring project. And It is not great timing either, but doing nothing with it is an opportunity lost.

Do Not Blow Up.

I am ready to let go of my old beliefs. The way I thought I should live this life and navigate through it using normal and average frameworks was not for me. I was forcing a common-by-the-book system upon me. A system an entire society is built on but not built for an individual exploring the limits and breaking the boundaries concealing it within.

I realize now how much at a disadvantage I was.

For a more graphic analogy: It is like being a stubborn grown ass adult on a 4-year-old's tiny bike struggling to go up the mountain on an icy snaking road at midnight during a snow storm thinking you have been riding a 4-wheel monster truck all along. I probably was half naked cause I did freeze to paralysis. No phone signals. No rescue to be seen, can't see a thing anyway. Pitch black. Just me all alone, standing still. I am now here.

Can't tell you I am thriving in silence. It's never really silent, the chatter in my mind is real. Never stops really. But right now, it's quiet and I don't like it. An unsolicited silence, body and heart numbed.

The crack of a door breaks open. A door in my heart.

Meeting the Stranger in my Heart.

Standing behind this door, I am 12 again. Freezing my ass off. Fingers numb on the metal handle, heart racing - just like that birthday decades ago. Different door, same paralysis. The stranger left it ajar, a friend I guess -- I hope. It's all blur, of course it is. I am going on tilt... I need to run away...

“No! Not this time.”

Subscribe now

If I don't learn about that person that has been living within me all along, I'll miss out on the greatest opportunity I have been gifted with; being helpful and useful to other people. So, I regroup and come up with the smartest thing that comes to mind.

Well easy to say –“or write”- but in practice, I need to be vulnerable for an honest true connection - but it freaks me out a bit.

Chin Up.

No going back. I will hit that keyboard like there is no tomorrow. I do like paper though, a much easier flow while riding every thought my mind throws at me. Easy with the pen, playful on the paper, dedicated to the discovery.

Journaling allows creating a direct path with me and myself, uncovering the things that I know and the things that I don't want to know. The things only the other self knew all along. By channeling my thoughts through my body into newly formed words, teasing my curious eyes for them to linger over freshly inked sentences, a new dialogue is now open. A Full circle.

Do it Your Own Way.

Write like you speak. The world does not need another English teacher (or the language you’ll write in). The world does not need perfect grammar. Do it with your unique voice (link with voice post). Write like you think.

Embracing your own uniqueness is the only path forward.

Journaling and getting deeper into your own mind will undeniably be uncomfortable but it will only hurt if you stop being true to yourself -again. Do not ignore your new life knocking at the door. It is a call for action, the one of bravery, the one to meet yourself and take upon these new challenges. A call to create new opportunities and gift them to the world.

Speak your heart open with the same vulnerability that will allow you plenty full of joyous conversations. Lay open the trauma not looking for compassion but for unveiling a reality, uncovering a blind spot within all of us that shall be addressed.

Journal to carry this conversation with you and your stranger to maturity.

Be kind with yourself. You did not know.

If anyone needs to “Read it”. Please consider Sharing this Post. Referral Link Program.

Share

If it Resonates with You. Please consider Subscribing or Become an Early Bird and receive free digital perks.

Subscribe now

💭 Have you ever thought about discovering who you truly are?

🔹 Ever kept a diary as a teen?
🔹 If you could leave one sentence for your future self, what would it be?
🔹 If you could leave one sentence for your future self, what would it be?

👇 Drop your thoughts below—I read and reply to every single one!

If you enjoy this posts and want to support my work just this once, feel free to Buy me a cup of coffee. ☕️ I do love coffee 🙈. Caffeinated Gratitude for reading.

🍀Next Read:

• The Illusion of the Wealthy:⚜️Money Will not Get you Happier.

• ADHD diagnosed 💔 : A Glance at a (LOST) Professional LiFe.

• ADHD and the Time Warp: Where the heck did it go!?

🎊Did you know you can shop your Fav’ Handcrafted Thumbnail and more? Personally, I take the Stainless Bottle on hikes or workouts, or I’ll enjoy a warm coffee in the DNBU Green Mug while writing Hard-Life-lessons in The Flexy-Notebook to share with you.
💥Go grab yours now! (click here).

It's an open hand to anyone who feels the need to grab it - An out-of-the-box Coaching. More from DNBU: ShopDNBU, Let’s Get a Coffee. Why Should I Subscribe FREE.

DISCLAIMER: Any characters in this story are purely fictional. If they remind you of me, well that's just a coincidence! I’ve even changed my name to ‘Stupid’ for extra anonymity.🥸"

Today, I Have a Plan.

6:00 AM.

An Aluminum Soda Can smashed to oblivion in my back street. Great way to get snapped out of your sleep. Before my Late ADHD diagnosis, I would have been pissed and would have picked up the wrong fight. But Not Today!

💥Today is going to be a Great Day!

I bolt out of bed, completely energized! I’m ready to tackle everything I didn’t do yesterday—or the day before, or the day before that, or... last month?! But first, bathroom… I am only human.

Checked!

“Now, Let’s have a quick look at the To-Do List.”

Alright, it looks a bit cluttered, but it’s my unique system—everything has its place, even if I can’t find it!

Where is it? Where is it!?

🥳Here you go.

Okayyy…

1. Video Editing

2. Hit the gym.

3. Hmmmm… Anyway.

No more procrastination.

I am all excited and bubbly. “Wasn’t that hard, was it?”

This is a fantastic feeling—being in control of my destiny, having tons of ideas flooding my brain like I’m some kind of a genius.

7:15 AM.

…? Wait, what was I doing? Let’s check my To-Do List one more time.

1. OK.

2. OK.

3. Would it be… Electricity or… I’ll check later again.

I’ll do it later. I can’t remember my login details and have no idea where is the letter.
Bummer!

I’m hungry.
Oh, didn’t get my Croissant. let’s get out; I need a croissant. But I will only get one this time. I swear.

8:30AM

Oops! I did it again.

Last Cup of Coffee and then I go to the gym. Hypertrophy mega pump. Here I’m coming!

Subscribe now

9:00AM

Get out of this kitchen. Seriously!

10:00AM

Stop Pacing around. Just stop. Be extra focused!

🙏My productivity Tips;

✍️ Another one, Journaling;

But I can’t choose, I can’t stay still and write! That’s the problem— ever heard of tasks paralysis? My Late ADHD diagnosis has been quite a roller coaster but an eye opener on all of this. All of this advices are great but… To get it done! it’s an another story.

11:45AM

Why am I standing in the Bathroom again?

“Screw this workout!
You’re going to sit at your desk and edit this video! Come on ‘Stupid’, you can do this!” - here goes the self negative voice… Again.

Now Sitting. Facing my Computer screen… still black.

Share

12:30PM.

Really Sunny Outside. I can even hear the birds singing. Some fresh air will help me to refocus. Let’s go for a walk!

1:15PM.

Good. Just a quick stroll around the blocks.

Inhale… Exhale… Deep breathing. Another trick. I inhale and hold. Not until I passe out, but I hold it long enough. I do this 3 to 5 times. It is proven beneficial for my nervous system and reduces my stress.

One more round.

Protocol:

3 to 5 times
Inhale deeply for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6.

BUZZ. BUZZ.

Who is texting me?

😱😱😱 Let’s head back.

2:45PM

What was I supposed to do again?

Oh, right—the bill! Pay the bill!

3:45PM

Where are my logins, anyway?
I definitely need to rethink that organized chaos.

Under the desk maybe?

Ouch! Hurt my back.

I should stretch.
Let’s do 20mn stretching localizing on the back pain. YouTube should have videos about it.

6:23PM

What a Film!
I really liked “Christmas in Paris”;

• Your perfect Christmas fix. Exactly what I needed

• Karl E.LANDLER is quite a versatile Actor.

• Over 3 million views and a worldwide network distribution.

  

Bref! Overall, great recommendation from Youtube.

That floor is hard! Not only my back but my butt hurts now, can’t feel my left cheek.

Let’s get to work.

It’s already dark outside and I haven’t got the chance to do a thing.

Ouch, ouch! Can’t stretch my legs. Why is it always the left cheek that is numb?

Just getting another Cup of Coffee. I do love Coffee.

7:25PM

Turning this computer on finally.
Editing time. I’ll do a nighty if needed.

…

7:31PM

BLACK OUT!

What the…!?!

BUZZ. BUZZ

😖😩😤 You’ve got to be Kidding me!

Share Do Not Blow Up ADHD

💚 If it Resonates with You. Please consider Subscribing or Become an Early Bird and receive free digital perks.

Subscribe now

♻️ If you know someone who could benefit from this post, please consider sharing it.

Share

💭 We all have those days—ADHD paralysis or not.

🔹 How do you bounce back when you lose momentum?
🔹 Do you have a difficulty in planning?

👇 Drop your thoughts below—I read and reply to every single one!

Leave a comment

If you enjoy this posts and want to support my work just this once, feel free to Buy me a cup of coffee. ☕️ I do love coffee. Caffeinated Gratitude for reading.

🍀Next Read:

• The Illusion of the Wealthy:⚜️Money Will not Get you Happier.

• ADHD & ✍️The power of Journaling. ⚔️ Meet the Stranger in your heart.

• ADHD diagnosed 💔 : A Glance at a (LOST) Professional LiFe.

🎊Did you know you can shop your Fav’ Handcrafted Thumbnail and more? Personally, I take the Stainless Bottle on hikes or workouts, or I’ll enjoy a warm coffee in the DNBU Green Mug while writing Hard Life lessons in The Flexy-Notebook to share with you.
💥Go grab yours now! (click here).

It's an open hand to anyone who feels the need to grab it - An out-of-the-box Coaching. More from DNBU: ShopDNBU, Let’s Get a Coffee. Why Should I Subscribe FREE.

Hitting the benchmark of 40, and what did I do with all this time? Quite a lot, I guess.I broke many boundaries in my industry—more than many would have dreamed of. Traveled to numerous countries, mostly for work. Met hundreds, if not thousands, of new people from all around the world, learned from them sharing profound experiences.

What the Heck Happened?!

On the surface everything seemed fine… and yet, I could not sustain any of it. My brain was not playing the same long game I initially wanted. My mind simply couldn’t commit beyond a few weeks, sometimes only days or even hours. A complete misalignment with my long-term dreams. Like paralysis, Time Collapses beneath my horizon, achieving nothing.

“Many adults with ADHD feel a profound sense of loss when they realize how much their undiagnosed condition has impacted their lives.” Dr Ned Hallowell.

The Impossible Challenge.

Everything that required long-term engagement was an issue. The simple idea of doing the same thing on a very long-time frame freaked me out. Knowing where I’ll be in 3 months was daunting. The excitement, the buzz, the stamina were nowhere to be seen anymore.

From Me: “Yes, I am all in"… to vanishing from the surface of the earth… sometimes indefinitely.

I just could not keep up with any long-term endeavor consistently. Cognitively not engaged anymore. Incapable of pushing whatever needed to be done further, mentally checking out. I can only imagine how unreliable and weird I might have seemed.

Self Discovery Through Pain.

I then realized I needed short-term goals to keep my brain engaged. Not too long, to keep me in the game and interested. Short-term activities or jobs worked fine. I love intensity; it keeps me and my mind fired up. As an actor; being on set was and is a perfect fit, every day is different, it can be intense and you’re emotionally engage at every stage of the process.

Subscribe now

Once I understood this, I started to cut myself short of any productive impulse that required long-term involvement with other people, specifically with friends. I would rather protect my friendships than try to pretend I could actually do the things we were all excited about. I didn’t know what was “wrong” with me, but I knew I couldn’t do it. I just could not push through the slow burn of persistence.”

It hurt at first. Why couldn’t I be like others? Drifting, a witness of my own life. All these ideas and thoughts constantly hammering my mind derailing me from my initial plan. I wanted to do it all. I was genuinely interested in everything, but I just couldn’t filter any of it. And I knew it was pointless to even try… decades of experience proved it to me; it would be short-lived.

“When we make a friend of what we previously could not face. Once what haunted us now becomes a visible ally.” Haunted by David Whyte.

Share

At first, this shift felt like a surrender, a resignation to my limitations. But it wasn’t. It was a pragmatic adjustment. I stopped pretending, stopped apologizing for who I wasn’t, and wanted to build a life around who I actually was… But who I am. I felt like a Stranger in my own heart.

Meet the Stranger.

It was now inevitable. I knew about his existence, there was no going back. So I bravely did it, I met the stranger in the mirror. We have been ignoring one another for far too long. I dared to smile at him and… he smiled back at me. His smile was warm, solar and so familiar.

“Finally,” he cheered.

Or I said. I don’t know who started first. I am playing catch-up with this stranger who knows me by heart. Peeling my own reflection, one layer at a time.

Grief isn’t just about loss.

Looking back… it is painful. The “what could have been” if only I had known. The Days Lost Battling my own paralysis or The opportunities I turned away from, offers I turned down… just because I knew I was different. Not like them. I wouldn’t have been able to control any impulsive, self-destructive behavior that would have turned a lifetime opportunity into a social self-sabotage crusade.

Some doors are closed, some forever, but there are others still ajar… I cherish them. I am rediscovering myself, understanding who I am and rebuilding stronger foundations. To become the person, I set out to be 10 years ago before I had to pull back.

Your ADHD is Not a Weakness.

It’s a rare way of thinking that gift you with unique strength. Hack it, you deserve to Unmask the real you.

• Let Go of the long-held idea that you should be someone else.

  • 😅 It is done. You need to move on. Tough Love.

• Make peace with your Mind.

  • ✍️ journaling will allow you to discover who you truly are.

• Stop Fighting your true Nature. Nothing wrong or nothing to Fix there.

  • 💥 This is your Feature and it can turn into your advantage… Explore.

• Crack open that Door in your heart and let the wind rip it open.

  • 💚 Learn to Love that Stranger.

♻️ again         T    I    M    E        T O        L    I    V    E        again ♻️

If anyone needs to “Read it”. Please consider Sharing this Post. Referral Link Program.

Share

If it Resonates with You. Please consider Subscribing or Become an Early Bird and receive free digital perks.

Subscribe now

💭 How Can You Reconcile With Who You Truly Are?

🔹 Did you lose or break any friendships for being perceived as irrational?
🔹 Did your boss ever constantly tell you that you were too slow or unfocused?
🔹 How many "yeses" would it take to break free of your chrysalis?

👇 Drop your thoughts below—I read and reply to every single one!

If you enjoy this posts and want to support my work just this once, feel free to Buy me a cup of coffee. ☕️ I do love coffee 🙈. Caffeinated Gratitude for reading.

🍀Next Read:

• The Illusion of the Wealthy:⚜️Money Will not Get you Happier.

• ADHD & ✍️The power of Journaling. ⚔️ Meet the Stranger in your Heart

• ADHD and the Time Warp: Where the heck did it go!?

🎊Did you know you can shop your Fav’ Handcrafted Thumbnail and more? Personally, I take the Stainless Bottle on hikes or workouts, or I’ll enjoy a warm coffee in the DNBU Green Mug while writing Hard-Life-lessons in The Flexy-Notebook to share with you.
💥Go grab yours now! (click here).